Is marriage and unconditional love an oxymoron? How can you, a husband or wife, learn to create the essential conditions for a mutually satisfying and loving marriage? (Without killing each other first!)
Next week, I’ll be celebrating my 22nd. wedding anniversary…Yahoo! If there’s anything I’ve learned about married life is this: Marriage is all about the simple, intentional choices we make everyday. ‘For better or for worse’ is all about better or worse choices in attitudes, actions, and priorities.
In most of my books, I’ve focused on the importance of creating loving relationships by loving God and loving others. Today, I’d like to offer a short excerpt from my book I Love You Unconditionally…On One Condition and a FREE PDF download of the Introduction.
“Contrary to popular thinking, love is not something you fall into or out of. True love is not an arbitrary impulse that hits us like a Tomahawk missile in the back of the head. Love is a choice, our choice and love is a lot of hard work. Unlike the weather, which you and I can’t control, love is a choice within our control. We can choose to love or we can choose not to. We can work at loving and becoming more loving in all of our relationships. Or choose not to. The weather reporter on Channel 7 can only predict. You get to decide.
If you don’t want to work at love and make the choices necessary to improve the conditions in your marriage, this book is probably not for you. There. I said it. That’s my one condition: To develop a deeper love in your marriage, you have to be willing to work. (That includes your spouse. . . . I know what some of you are already thinking: I’m willing to work, but Immortal Beloved over here isn’t!)
But let’s be honest here. Who wants to work? Work’s not any fun! After all, if we’re really in love, shouldn’t our love just work? We’re soul mates, for crying out loud. We “complete” one another! If we have to work at love, maybe we’re not in love after all. Well, we all want to be loved, but love is a lot of work. That’s where the rub comes in.”
Questions: What do you think are some of the essential conditions and choices to create a loving marriage? What ruins love in marriage?
I’d love to hear your comments, insights and questions.
Click here for a FREE PDF of the Intro to I Love You Unconditonally…On One Condition.