Demon Sense-Reader Feedback

(c) Timothy Valentine, Wikipedia[dc]I[/dc]’m working on a young adult novel called Demon Sense and I’d like your feedback. Since this blog is a bit of my writing palette, I thought I’d post something I’ve been working on. So far, I’m 75 pages into the first draft…

Here’s the hook:

Josh Brown, a fatherless seventeen year old works at his family’s funeral home in Santa Fe, New Mexico and is heir to the family business when he turns eighteen. After the assassination of the Governor of New Mexico, Josh finds himself caught up in a corporate conspiracy designed to kill thousands of people at funerals across America. When he discovers the people behind the plot (and they discover him), Josh faces a battle against time before more innocent people are killed. But Josh perceives there is more going on that meets the eye. Through a series of strange events, Josh realizes that he has received a supernatural gift to see evil in the spiritual realm all around him. Using all five senses, he begins to battle demons, principalities and powers in high places.

With this special gift, Josh starts to dismantle the corporate conspiracy and the demonic world set against him. If fighting evil villains and demons wasn’t enough, Josh’s greatest challenge is winning the heart of Carly Jackson, the daughter of the recently assassinated Governor of New Mexico. To accompany him in this battle against time, life, death and love, Josh has a fearless companion: a small pug named The General.

Click here to download Demon Sense-Preface PDF. (Just over a page to read.) I’d appreciate your honest feedback, comments and questions.

Questions: What’s working in the preface of Demon Sense? What’s not? What did you like? What would you change? Does the preface perk your interest? Let me know if you’d like to read more…

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive, snarky or off-topic.

  • Davidsmeacham

    This is good stuff, Joey. I like it! And the mysterious supernatural gift to see evil all around him…scary thought…I wanna read more! Thanks for sharing; it’s inspiring.

  • http://www.joeyo.org Joey O’Connor

    Thanks Dave…I’d love your critique as we move forward. Can’t wait to tell you more good news on the I Am an Artist project. Thanks for your feedback!